*UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
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kay
jools
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Helen
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*UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
Bethany has just had her 7-9 month check. It was a community nursery nurse who came round to my house to do it. I specifically asked for a different one to the one i have spoke to before as she gave me wrong advice on :boob: . But seems like this woman has basicially said the same thing to me!
Basically she said:
Bethany doesnt need feeding during the day - i should cut back to one in the morning and 1 at night. If she really needs it i can offer a feed during the day. But becasue she's having full meals she doesnt need so much :boob:
I shouldnt be feeding through the night. I need to offer cooled boiled water until bethany gets the message that milk wont be on offer and eventually wont wake for it.
I shouldnt be co-sleeping it is "extremly dangerous" and bethany should be in her own room all the time now.
I should do controlled crying.
I felt like asking her if she was from the Jo Frost school?!!!
At the end of it she asked if i am i going to start implementing all the advice shes told me tonight? So i told her were happy how we are at the minute thanks. She wasnt very happy and said well all i can do is advice you on the best ways to handle things to do and cant physically make me do them.
Since when as feeding a 9 month old baby during the day been so wrong?! Total rubbish her advice was!
Basically she said:
Bethany doesnt need feeding during the day - i should cut back to one in the morning and 1 at night. If she really needs it i can offer a feed during the day. But becasue she's having full meals she doesnt need so much :boob:
I shouldnt be feeding through the night. I need to offer cooled boiled water until bethany gets the message that milk wont be on offer and eventually wont wake for it.
I shouldnt be co-sleeping it is "extremly dangerous" and bethany should be in her own room all the time now.
I should do controlled crying.
I felt like asking her if she was from the Jo Frost school?!!!
At the end of it she asked if i am i going to start implementing all the advice shes told me tonight? So i told her were happy how we are at the minute thanks. She wasnt very happy and said well all i can do is advice you on the best ways to handle things to do and cant physically make me do them.
Since when as feeding a 9 month old baby during the day been so wrong?! Total rubbish her advice was!
Last edited by Helen on Fri Sep 26, 2008 2:32 pm; edited 2 times in total
Helen- Number of posts : 1782
Age : 43
From : Wigan (but live in West Yorkshire)
Tell us about yourself : Mummy to Bethany who is 3 years old now and weaned herself off the boob at 2. And my little boy Thomas who has just turned 1. I'm loving breastfeeding all over again
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
Blimey! I must be a crap mother then according to your community nurse!
My daughter's 2 and I am still co-sleeping and yes she's still alive! I BF my daughter on demand till the age of 2 (till I got pregnant) and I still BF my daughter at night!
Personally I think controlled crying is worst than outright crying b/c you are getting the child's hopes up to stop the crying and then dashing them down again.
Total rubbish! What century does your community nurse come from? Just get on with what you are doing, sounds like you are doing a fine job.
My daughter's 2 and I am still co-sleeping and yes she's still alive! I BF my daughter on demand till the age of 2 (till I got pregnant) and I still BF my daughter at night!
Personally I think controlled crying is worst than outright crying b/c you are getting the child's hopes up to stop the crying and then dashing them down again.
Total rubbish! What century does your community nurse come from? Just get on with what you are doing, sounds like you are doing a fine job.
Pink Rose- Number of posts : 155
Tell us about yourself : A pregnant 33 yr old married stay-at-home mum with 2 girls ages 2 & 4. I have exclusively breastfed both of them for the 1st 6 mths. And, I BF my oldest till she was nearly 2 and I am still curranly BFG my youngest. I have never bought any formula or bottles!
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
OMG Helen! Can't believe she said that! You just carry on as you are (like you wouldn't anyway, lol) xxx
gem1981- Number of posts : 1459
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
Tell her bo*****s
jools- Number of posts : 2601
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
Stupid cow!
you're doing perfectly fine hunny - dont you dare change! :aww:
you're doing perfectly fine hunny - dont you dare change! :aww:
kay- Breast Buddies
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
Thanks girls it just really annoys me the complete crap they come out with. And someone who isnt strong minded might listen to them and do what they say. Thankfully i'm not one of them people lol!
I will :boob: :sling1: :cosleep2: for as long as bethany wants to!
I will :boob: :sling1: :cosleep2: for as long as bethany wants to!
Helen- Number of posts : 1782
Age : 43
From : Wigan (but live in West Yorkshire)
Tell us about yourself : Mummy to Bethany who is 3 years old now and weaned herself off the boob at 2. And my little boy Thomas who has just turned 1. I'm loving breastfeeding all over again
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
:cheer: :cheer: GO HELEN! GO HELEN! :cheer: :cheer:
gem1981- Number of posts : 1459
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Helen- Number of posts : 1782
Age : 43
From : Wigan (but live in West Yorkshire)
Tell us about yourself : Mummy to Bethany who is 3 years old now and weaned herself off the boob at 2. And my little boy Thomas who has just turned 1. I'm loving breastfeeding all over again
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
Yes go Helen! It's your life and how dare your community nurse tell you the way you should be living it! Doesn't she realise that there's a thousands ways to raise a baby - mad heh!
Pink Rose- Number of posts : 155
Tell us about yourself : A pregnant 33 yr old married stay-at-home mum with 2 girls ages 2 & 4. I have exclusively breastfed both of them for the 1st 6 mths. And, I BF my oldest till she was nearly 2 and I am still curranly BFG my youngest. I have never bought any formula or bottles!
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
horrid woman!!!
W2G helen!!!!!!! :cheer: :cheer: xxxx
W2G helen!!!!!!! :cheer: :cheer: xxxx
piesmummy2006- Number of posts : 2089
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
Me and adam have had a massive arguement over all of this, this morning. He was on nights yesterday and so wasnt here when the woman came round so i only told him what was said this morning.
He's always been so supportive of :boob: and everything so it came as a bit of a shock. He said why do i always think my way is best. He said everyone has baby in their own room at bethanys age, the nursery nurse is probably right about baby not needing so much :boob: at bethanys age cos shes on full meals and he says i'm too quick to pick her up and :boob: her when other things like rocking her might comfort her. And that we should try controlled crying to get her through the night. I've been soooo upset :tear: cos he's always backed my corner. Like when his mates say things like 'what she sleeps with you?!' he's been really positive about co-sleeping. So i cant understand why he's changed all of a sudden.
I think i must have been upset about the woman yesterday basicially insinuating everything i do as a parent is wrong (co sleep, still :boob: on demand, still :boob: during night instead of giving water, dont do controlled crying) and it was just coming out as anger. So when he said all of this today i just burst into tears! He said that the woman is a health professional for a reason and i'm nothing so why should i no best. I said that a lot of health professionals talk crap when it comes to :boob: . When i was crying he said "see what i mean about not listening - you think everyones against you!". Need a hug! lol. God i'm teary just writing this :tear:
He's always been so supportive of :boob: and everything so it came as a bit of a shock. He said why do i always think my way is best. He said everyone has baby in their own room at bethanys age, the nursery nurse is probably right about baby not needing so much :boob: at bethanys age cos shes on full meals and he says i'm too quick to pick her up and :boob: her when other things like rocking her might comfort her. And that we should try controlled crying to get her through the night. I've been soooo upset :tear: cos he's always backed my corner. Like when his mates say things like 'what she sleeps with you?!' he's been really positive about co-sleeping. So i cant understand why he's changed all of a sudden.
I think i must have been upset about the woman yesterday basicially insinuating everything i do as a parent is wrong (co sleep, still :boob: on demand, still :boob: during night instead of giving water, dont do controlled crying) and it was just coming out as anger. So when he said all of this today i just burst into tears! He said that the woman is a health professional for a reason and i'm nothing so why should i no best. I said that a lot of health professionals talk crap when it comes to :boob: . When i was crying he said "see what i mean about not listening - you think everyones against you!". Need a hug! lol. God i'm teary just writing this :tear:
Helen- Number of posts : 1782
Age : 43
From : Wigan (but live in West Yorkshire)
Tell us about yourself : Mummy to Bethany who is 3 years old now and weaned herself off the boob at 2. And my little boy Thomas who has just turned 1. I'm loving breastfeeding all over again
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
Oh and i forgot to say he said "and do all those on breastbuddies co-sleep". I said a lot of them do actually. At first he said i was lying then (and i had to laugh) he said we were all part of a cult on here!!!!!!!
Helen- Number of posts : 1782
Age : 43
From : Wigan (but live in West Yorkshire)
Tell us about yourself : Mummy to Bethany who is 3 years old now and weaned herself off the boob at 2. And my little boy Thomas who has just turned 1. I'm loving breastfeeding all over again
Your mood today : Happy
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Points : 518
Registration date : 2007-11-12
Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
:aww: Oh Helen. Sorry about that. I dont know what to say. Maybe you should suggest he tries things the way he suggests? I'm sure it wouldnt take long for him to realise your way is best? :aww: :aww:
And.... its a nice cult
And.... its a nice cult
gem1981- Number of posts : 1459
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
Oh Helen.
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Go you telling that community nurse!
I think Adams been talking to my Steve.......lol. He's always been horrid about me :boob: and he goes mad when he wakes up and realises that Kaydi is in bed with me. He goes on about how i would feel if i killed her by rolling on to her. It does make me think, I know i don't move when she's in bed with me as i'm in same position when i wake. My bf mw advised it! Also cautioned me.
He also says we are all wierdo's and are in a bfing cult.....lo Men hey.
Bethany is your baby, you do what you feel is best for you. Adam will proberly not say anything else. Community nurse well tell her to **** off.....lol
:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))
Go you telling that community nurse!
I think Adams been talking to my Steve.......lol. He's always been horrid about me :boob: and he goes mad when he wakes up and realises that Kaydi is in bed with me. He goes on about how i would feel if i killed her by rolling on to her. It does make me think, I know i don't move when she's in bed with me as i'm in same position when i wake. My bf mw advised it! Also cautioned me.
He also says we are all wierdo's and are in a bfing cult.....lo Men hey.
Bethany is your baby, you do what you feel is best for you. Adam will proberly not say anything else. Community nurse well tell her to **** off.....lol
:bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
clairelana- Number of posts : 618
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
awwwww helen! :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
you are doing so well dont let what Adam is saying put you off! he just prob wants you all to him self at night lol i agree with gem once james said that so when she cried in the night i told him to go rock her.......... he soon came back saying breast her lol
james thinks this is good supporting site but does say strange things about it sometimes! Men are just weird!
your doing great hun do what you think is best!!!!!! :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
you are doing so well dont let what Adam is saying put you off! he just prob wants you all to him self at night lol i agree with gem once james said that so when she cried in the night i told him to go rock her.......... he soon came back saying breast her lol
james thinks this is good supporting site but does say strange things about it sometimes! Men are just weird!
your doing great hun do what you think is best!!!!!! :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:
piesmummy2006- Number of posts : 2089
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
I cant say much else, but heres a big hug if it helps :bighug:
kay- Breast Buddies
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
thanks girls. We spoke about it later that day and half of the stuff he'd said he said he hadnt!!!!!!!!!! I was like 'Whatever'! I told him i'm doing whats right for my baby and that if he wanted to see to her during the night then he can trying the parenting style he wants to. Obviously that was a no cos hes a lazy b*****d. :aww:
Helen- Number of posts : 1782
Age : 43
From : Wigan (but live in West Yorkshire)
Tell us about yourself : Mummy to Bethany who is 3 years old now and weaned herself off the boob at 2. And my little boy Thomas who has just turned 1. I'm loving breastfeeding all over again
Your mood today : Happy
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
I am sorry to hear the Adam isn't supporting you and your parenting choice. I admit I AM baffled by him too on why he's suddenly changed?! I mean if Bethany's happy and gaining weight OK, then what's EXACTLY is his problem? Huh? That's what I wanna say to him. Perhaps Adam is slightly jealous of the bond you have with Bethany and it's been building up over the coming months and the community nurse had brought it to head?
After all you are Bethany's mother and if you are to change into another style of mothering that doesn't suit you then you aren't going to be that comfortable and happy and neither will Bethany cos she will pick up on it. And, look at it from Bethany's point of view, when she suddenly finds that you have stopped BFG on demand, and she won't understand you or why everything has changed.
It's strange that your community nurse is against it. When I had my 7-9 months baby health check with my HV, I told her everything and I am the same as you. My HV didn't say I got to stop the night feeds and the some day feeds and wasn't rumbled by the fact that I co-slept. Her tune is to keep families together and happy and respect that every family is different and it matters that the parents (especially mum!) are happy with the way things are and baby's fine then that's completely fine! My HV even knows now that I still co-sleep and BF with my 2 year old! All she said if you and hubby are happy with it then it's OK. I even told her that I BF whilst pregnant, she even said that's fine as long as I am happy and eat and rest properly!
Hugs to you. Perhaps Adam will settle down once he's had another thought about it. He should appreciate what a fantastic job you have done with Bethany so far and should let you carry on doing the fantastic job. Perhaps he's starting to take Bethany for granted and not seeing what a fanastic girl you have made her to be.
Thinking of you.
After all you are Bethany's mother and if you are to change into another style of mothering that doesn't suit you then you aren't going to be that comfortable and happy and neither will Bethany cos she will pick up on it. And, look at it from Bethany's point of view, when she suddenly finds that you have stopped BFG on demand, and she won't understand you or why everything has changed.
It's strange that your community nurse is against it. When I had my 7-9 months baby health check with my HV, I told her everything and I am the same as you. My HV didn't say I got to stop the night feeds and the some day feeds and wasn't rumbled by the fact that I co-slept. Her tune is to keep families together and happy and respect that every family is different and it matters that the parents (especially mum!) are happy with the way things are and baby's fine then that's completely fine! My HV even knows now that I still co-sleep and BF with my 2 year old! All she said if you and hubby are happy with it then it's OK. I even told her that I BF whilst pregnant, she even said that's fine as long as I am happy and eat and rest properly!
Hugs to you. Perhaps Adam will settle down once he's had another thought about it. He should appreciate what a fantastic job you have done with Bethany so far and should let you carry on doing the fantastic job. Perhaps he's starting to take Bethany for granted and not seeing what a fanastic girl you have made her to be.
Thinking of you.
Pink Rose- Number of posts : 155
Tell us about yourself : A pregnant 33 yr old married stay-at-home mum with 2 girls ages 2 & 4. I have exclusively breastfed both of them for the 1st 6 mths. And, I BF my oldest till she was nearly 2 and I am still curranly BFG my youngest. I have never bought any formula or bottles!
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Re: *UPDATE :( * Bethany's 7- 9month check *UPDATE :( *
ive only just read this post so, massive hugs, youre doing a wonderful job with your baby :aww: :aww:
angpixi- Number of posts : 2109
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Kasia80- Number of posts : 4575
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