My HV has made me feel like my milk is not good enough!

I went to get Tasmin weighed today as she hasn't been for a couple of weeks. She's 13weeks and only weighs 11lb 14 1/2oz. She's only gained 4oz in a forniight but 10oz in a month.

She asked about what her feeding is like so i said during the day its every 2 hours but no more than 3 hours, when she asked what the night time feeding was I said her last feed is 7.30pm and thats it until 7 next morning. She told me that I should wake her but we've tried and she is just not interested during the night. They now want to keep an eye on her weight gain as apparently its at the lowest it can be. she's on the 25th certile thing, when she was born she was on this when she had growth spurt she went upto the 50th and now has gone back down.

As you know my mum is not supporting me in bf and thinks she should be on the bottle (probably cos at the moment she can't interfer like she did with my eldest) so along with the she needs to go on the bottle Ive now got she needs weaning. She's only 3 months it far too early.

I don't want to go down the top up with formula route and waking her during the night is not working don't know what to do now.

I managed to get 4oz from the electric pump this morning and DH fed her that at 5pm tho it took him nearly an hour as she wasn't having any of it at first. I need to get her used to the bottle for when we go out for the evening in a few weeks but deep down i'm please she won't take it if you get what I mean.

And as I was getting ready to leave she asked if I would consider going on their training course to become a breastfeeding peer suport person thing. I'm seriously considering doing this.

I think you should do the training! If nothing else- but I'm sure you would be great help to many mums and we would apreciate your help also- if nothing else, this will boost your confidence and HV can stick it up
I'm sorry for HV. Some babies gain fast and a lot and some not. Simple as this. And overfeeding baby-and this would be so easy with formula- is not healthy. You are doing great! :aww:

She is still gaining - that's the main thing! You are doing great :aww:

youre doing a great job all babies put on weight at different rates :aww: it would be a great idea to do the training

why do they love to worry us so much, dont worry . Emily was this weight at that age and even spent two months heading toward the 9th line,they kept telling me she needed 3 meals & formula as was so underweight, but she was lively happy very alert so i ignored them , took her today and she back up over the 50th mark, there was a 5 week old baby there that weighed 3lb less than Emily ,now that they thought was fine !!!!

I'm going to take her next week to what her weight gain is. I'd be happy if she puts on 2or 3oz, if they start going on about it i'm going to tell them to piss off and won't bother getting her weighed i'll just do it every month or so. They can't make me go (or can they?)
My friends 18month girl only weighs 10lb more than Tasmin and they seem to be fine with her weight. She was formula fed so I think its cos i'm bf.
Not every baby is going to be a textbook baby and they should realise this by now.

Shes gaining weight thats the most important thing, shes happy and is well.

HVS are idiots

Your doing well :aww:

HI Salocius
You are doing fine, my boy is now 8 month olds and was born 25th percentile, dropped down to 9 and still is. HV's gave me the chat that he is loosing weight etc, but I am still BF and am planning to until 1 year old as unfortunatley he has milk allergy. I have questionned myself as well many times if I have enough but otherwise he is a alert and happy baby. It is true as long as they are putting on some weight and are happy then don't worry. All babies are different and never compare to other people's babies.

ignore the silly HV think we've all had some experience of there ignorances. keep up the good work

Why are most hv's so undertrained when it comes to :boob:
So long as shes gaining some weight and is happy and contented and is getting plenty of wet nappies then i wouldnt worry hun!
I am planning on doing the peer training too.
I've heard of some women who never get baby weighed and just trust their own instincts.
:aww:

I don't know whats wrong with them, they should throw their blooming text books away! It's not helping that my mum is not supporting us she thinks she should be on the bottle and weaned yet she's only 14 weeks.

I'm going to get her weighed this afternoon and hopefully i'll see my usual one she's not as bad as the others and she is all for breastfeeding and washable nappies which we do. The only thing that will annoy her is Tasmin sleeps 12 hours at night and we've tried waking her for feeds but she's not interested..

If they complain about her weight gain i'm going to tell them where to stick it.

:aww: :aww:

I got Tasmin weighed she's only put on 1 and half oz so they're getting a little more concerned. Hv advised me to start weaning at 4 months which i'm not too keen on.

Hi, have they suggested topping up with a bottle of bm? I did this for a while and expressed when i gave the bottle to keep up my supply.
We had to top up with one 4oz of formula a day to get her weight up.
Once her weight was back up i started to swap the formula for ebm. She's doing really well now and we don't need any top ups. Well its weighing day tomorrow so fingers crossed.
Its such a worry, just do what you feel is best. I asked for loads of advise from different people. I changed my mind several times should i or shouldn't i.
Big hugs from us, Keep up the great work. :bighug:

Nothing else has been suggested, I've made my opinion on formula quite clear to them (at £8 a tin its expensive and unless they will pay for it we can't afford it since i've been made redundant living on one crap salary and don't qualify for any help)

I have started expressing in the mornings when she wakes up I get about 4oz so either DH or eldest DD will feed her whilst i'm cooking dinner but I still need to top her up as its not enough.

How does your little one seem to you? happy? alert? content?
What is your gut feeling?

I dont have the answers - but i still say, as long as baby is gaining, its not all bad. and your instinct is by far the best to go off :aww:

Have you tried to dream feed in the night? I know its hard when they just wont wake. I used to change Kaydi's nappy and then feed her at about 4 am. Its just an extra feed she wouldn't usually have had.

Also with expressing i found that after that 4am feed i would get loads of milk out. If you can be bothered i would try to wake yourself and express then. Just till she starts to gain a little more.

I know they are telling you to wean but bm has more calories than food so your better to give her the bm rather than filling her up with something less calorific.

More hugs from us
You will both get there hun. You do what you think is best.
xXx

We've tried the dream feed and changing her bum she just won't take it. The other week my mum looked after her for a few hours we managed to get her from my mums cot into car seat and back into her own bed and she didn't even wake up.

At our antenatal classes we were told that bf babies weight does go up and down. She seems contented enough.

I'm holding off weaning for as long as possible and will offer her more bm instead.

I have coeliac so don't always absorb all the nutritants and vitamins etc. I was wondering wether i should start taking some and see if that helps

I like to add that babies living on expressed BM put on less weight than those sucking directly off the breast. B/c the breast pump doesn't do an efficient job as the baby does sucking out the hind milk, the hind milk gets thicker and thicker to almost a creamy like substance and it's hard to get this out through a pump. It's good to know that.

Also have you tried co-sleeping with your baby? Babies that co-sleep tends to stir in the night rooting out for the breast for comfort and they can smell your tempting milk sitting next to them! This will also help your milk supply as well b/c your body will 'sense' that your baby's there and your love hormones will start the milk flowing.

If you are worried about co-sleeping there are things you can do to make your bed safer like getting a child's side bed board and having no pillows and ditching the duvet. I did this and I had the lightest summer duvet instead just to cover myself and I covered my baby with cot blankets, and remember that babies get hotter being in a adult's bed so you have to dress them down or add less blankets than you would normally do if they were sleeping in a cot.

I think co-sleeping may be the answer for you and I am not just saying it b/c I am 'attachment parenting fan'.

Good luck.

I took Tasmin back to get weighed today, again she's only put on 1 and 1/2 oz. I saw a really nice hv who told me not to worry as she could see that she is an active baby.

She still wants me to wean her at 4months tho I bought some baby rice at the weekend but I still think 4 months is still to early, where as the hv thinks that 6months is too late. She must be in her 50's and been doing her job for donkeys so she's pretty much gone through all the changes regarding weaning etc.

Also at the weekend whilst we were shopping a lady commented on the fact that she is still tiny, she had the bloody cheek to say "Is my milk good enough?" We were fuming DH replied well she wouldn't be sleeping all night if it weren't. Now I've had this comment I'm beginning to think it might be true.

She's been screaming when I put her to my left breast and don't know why have played around with the positions but nothing is helping, I think it might have dried up but when I expressed from this side this morning i only got 3oz.

I never got this far with DD1 so all the hurdles are new to me :tear:

Oh I am glad you are sounding a bit happier and more positive this time.

I would like to say that giving baby rice early may actually not help with the weight gain. B/c if a baby isn't ready for solids, the baby rice will simply just fill the baby up missing out on important milk feeds and the baby rice will simply pass through the gut undigested. The breast milk you are giving still has more calories than the baby rice! It's a catch 22 situation here so be careful. Both my babies actually lost weight when I started them on solids at 6 months, b/c of the amount of BM they were drinking still worked out higher in calories and fat than the solids I have introduced!

Yes, babies on formula have a reputation of sleeping through the night but this is b/c I am afraid FF ladies out there! Is that formula is harder to digest than BM b/c it's not really designed for a baby's stomach so it's sits in the stomach longer during the night.

My 1st baby DD had never slept through the night till she was about 1! She woke 3 times a night and my 2nd baby DD slept through the night since she was born (till I stupidly decided to co-sleep at 9 mths)! And, they are both BF and raised exactly the same so how can 'formula believers' explain that!?

Anyway there's something else I like to suggest that may help you. The NHS baby weight charts are over 40 years out of date and hasn't been changed since the 50's or 60's and they are based on a 100% formula fed baby. So to my mind the charts are wholly unaccurate and aren't at all fair on BF babies and even on FF babies, b/c now the NHS doesn't like to see an over chubby FF baby these days cos of the raise in obesity rates. But, otherwise HVs are still put under a lot strain and pressure to push the babies mums to follow these stupid charts.

I have heard that the NHS are supposed to updating these baby weight charts and having 2 separate ones one for FF and one for BF. The breastfed have a different growth weight pattern to the formula fed.

There are some very updated breastfeeding charts on the Internet, perhaps you can find one and print one then draw-in your Tasmin's weight gain to it. It would be interesting to see what you discover and then perhaps you can show it to your HV! Tasmin's low weight gain isn't as bad as they are making it out to be.

As long as Tasmin is healthy bright alert and active, happy and you are happy then she's fine. If the HVs are making you unhappy, simply see them less often!

Remember a breastfed baby is still healthier than a formula fed baby, b/c of the numerous unique benefits that tailored human milk has to offer. And, it seemed a shame to throw it all out of the window for the sake of a few ounces in weight gain each week. A light, tiny BF baby is still healthier than a fat bumbling FF baby! It's what going on the inside that counts that no-one can see!

Yo girl! :aww:

pink rose good answer! as you all know ive bf all 5 of mine and raised them all very similarly and each one has had their own way of feeding , growing and putting on weight! aeryn who is now 3 was a little and often feeder who put on very small amounts of weight like tasmin shes still got that kind of feeding pattern now and is skinny minnie where as willow is a wee chunk! i will look for my yellow book to see if i can compare her weight gains with your baby it might reassure you to know that theres others out there?
there seems to be far too much emphasis on how things 'should be' rather than looking at the indiviual.
dont worry about only having 3oz expressed in my experience thats loads!!! with aeryn the most i could express at one time was 1oz! keep up the good work!:aww: :aww: :boob:

Cool "angpixi", I am glad you think my answer's good. You are right we are all different and our babies included.

For example my oldest DD as a baby was a lot plumper than my youngest DD as a baby, why? Because my oldest drank as much BM during the night than she did during the day (she was a piggy)! And my youngest DD who's was a bit of a skinny baby slept through the night and didn't drank no where near as much BM as my oldest! This proves that we are all different and individual.

This is also interesting and useful. "Kasia80" - thanks to her found this;

http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/growth/weight-gain_increase.html

Salocius - hello
Just wanted to say please don't doubt yourself! As other has said if your baby is active and engaged in the world around her and producing plenty of wet and dirty nappies, she is doing fine!

MY HV told me they are planning to roll out the new WHO growth charts, in the mean time you can find them here

HTH